At the end of this month I turn 25. 25!!! How is this even possible? Getting older scares me beyond belief. I was never one of those children that couldn’t wait to turn 18. I would have been quite happy staying 16 forever to be honest. 18 if I really had to.
I’ve coped with being in my early 20s because it’s still young, right? But 25 is a whole new kettle fish. It’s the MID twenties.. it’s the next age bracket up when filling out forms.
At 25 my Mum had already married and given birth to me and yet I don’t even know if I want children. I guess I thought that by 25 I would have life figured out but in many ways I still feel like I’m finding my path. My proudest achievement is the flat that Nick and I own and the fact that we’ve managed pretty well for a good 2 years in our home – no shrunken clothes, no fires and no missed bills. I guess that means I’m coping pretty well at this whole adult thing?
In my head I’m still 21. If someone asks me my age I have to think about it, and it hits me all over again that I’m really not 21, 22 or 23. I’m 24 going on 25! You’re probably wondering why I’m making such a big deal of this, it’s just a number really, but these are the thoughts that circle my mind on a regular basis, especially at the moment.
Sure Birthdays are lovely, it’s nice to do fun things, have presents to open and be spoilt for the day. If I could have a Birthday without turning a year older I wouldn’t be dreading it quite so much. I think my biggest fear is that within a blink of an eye I’ll be 30.
I’m scared of getting older, losing the people I love and most of all the unknown of it all. Who knows what life has in store for me? I could drive myself crazy thinking of the what ifs.
So for now I’m going to try my best to focus on making the most of being 24, almost 25 years young. I’m not going to give up my unicorn phase, I’m going to continue wearing my disney tops with pride and read my young adult books whenever I feel like it.
I can’t help getting older but I don’t have to get old! Age is just a number and I won’t let it stop me.
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